Tinfoil Chef

Not too long ago in what, to us, would be considered a parallel universe. A race of aliens visited the Earth and spent a lot of time studying the planet it’s people and most importantly, the foodstuffs they ate. Finally, they found what they had been searching for: Cheese.

They desperatley needed it because strangely enough, it was an important reactant in their stardrive system and their ship’s systems had been damaged and were no longer able to synthesize this most important fuel component. They were more than a little relieved when their science officer reported that on the planet below there was a more than plentiful supply of many varieties of cheese.

Captain Cheddar, the head cheese, ordered landing parties to explore and locate a cheese for their fuel supply. Mr. Parmigiani, not the cheese, was on the party that discovered that Parmigiano-Reggiano was the ideal match for their cheese fueled stardrive.

The order quickly went out and fuel gathering parties were sent down to collect what would ammount to the entire world’s supply of Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese and refuel the ship as Mr. Parmigiani watches over the process to insure none is missed.

Meanwhile, back on the alter-Earth, cheese lovers everywhere had varying reactions. Some decided that it didn’t matter to them so long as they could still have their Cheddar, Swiss, Monterrey Jack and so on. Others didn’t like that any cheese would be completely unavailable for the years it would take to produce a new supply.

The most militant of these was the group that revered Parmigiano-Reggiano above all cheeses. They mounted first a defensive measure, guarding as many supplies of their beloved cheese as they could. They followed this with an attack that was intended to recover as much of the stolen cheese as possible.

This single battle over a ship needing an emergency refueling eventually escalated into a huge conflict on a galactic scale. The chronicles of which were eventually written in a twelve volume set of books known collectively as “Cheese Wars”, six of which were used as the basis for an immensely popular series of movies.

Technorati Tags: fuel, war, aliens, humor, cheese, weird

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